In Mohja Kahf’s novel The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf, I felt that Khadra was sucked into a specific lifestyle that her parents wanted her to live. When she was little she obeyed and even got frightened when others who are Muslim do not live the life that she was trained to live. This is evident on her Haj to Mecca when her cousin, Afaaf, subjects Khadra to a different lifestyle that Afaaf thought was American. “ What is your problem?... What’s the matter, is this not as fun as what you do in America?” (178). Khadra responded in the one way that she was taught by her mother as an insult to her cousin saying, “I hate you- you’re a FILTHY girl, with FILTHY friends- you take me home RIGHT NOW. You- you- you goddamn bitch.” (178).
Her religion was all she knew but after her second journey to her homeland, to Syria, Khadra received a different identity of who she was when she stayed with Téta. She experienced for the first time going out without a hijab on. But she still “would have to manifest the quality of modesty in her behavior” (312). Her family probably would have been disgusted to know of Khadra acting in this way, but to her, it was not about the hijab anymore, it was about the concept of modesty. Even though she experienced this though, on her return to America, she drapped a veil over her because it showed others her heritage which she was so proud of.
One thing that I really enjoyed reading about though, was not about the religion or even the family of Khadra, but was seeing Kharda’s friend, Joy, and her family. The whole scene talking about working in the kitchen and making the kibbeh really took me home. My boyfriend’s family is Lebonese and I have been involved in the whole process of making kibbeh and it really is a whole family event. Also, seeing the importance of family, taking care of them is also something that really touched me. Although, in my culture girls do not have to be followed around everywhere, just the fact that the Muslim community really looked out for one another was something very nice to see. They all bonded together calling each other aunt, uncle, sister, and brother. They whole community was one big family that loved each other and looked out for one another always. We do not always see that today and it was refreshing to see how much they cared for their community.
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I also loved learning about how the different characters' families interacted, especially Joy's family because they were so fun-loving and caring. Suprisingly enough, Khandra's family actually reminded me a lot of my own family. Khandra's family, especially her mother and father, had a very negative attitude towards change. They were stuck in their old ways. My parents are the same way to a certain extent. They were very strict when i was little and they had trouble letting me go and experience life in my own way, not theirs. Whenever something went on in the Muslim community, everyone seemed to find out about it within the next 24 hours. That is EXACTLY how my family is! I have never been able to keep something private, and i probably never will. Although I am very different from Khandra, I found common ground with her because of our families.
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